Not Just About Us

Leading up to our wedding day (almost 14 years ago now), I (Tom) made a comment to my mother in-law to the effect that since it was our wedding and all about us, that really all the decisions about the wedding should be left up to us. My mother in-law responded to this effect, “It isn’t just about you. We are inviting our friends and family to celebrate this day. Your parents are celebrating this day with their friends.” Her words really struck me because when you get married you think of it as “your day” and that for one day you get to be the center of attention and be stars. She challenged me to realize that even though it was our wedding, it still wasn’t all about us. Just as our wedding day was not all about us, but an opportunity for our parents and family members to celebrate a joyous occasion, our marriage is not all about us either. When our marriage is strong, we model for our kids what a good and healthy marriage looks like. When our marriage is strong, we model for others a healthy marriage and can be a source of encouragement to other married couples. On the flip side, if Mia and I allow our relationship to weaken and don’t invest in our relationship then we will leave a bad impression to our kids about marriage. Eventually our poor marriage will leak out into all our relationship. Your marriage is not just about you. Our marriage is not just about us. So when we take time to invest in our relationship and our marriage it isn’t selfish. It is an investment in our kids and has a positive ripple effect onothers. In a couple of weeks, we are getting a weekend away together. When I tell others we will be getting away together, I receive a sense of shock that we are able to get away. In addition, I get an impression they think it is a good idea but it would be impossible for them because of their other responsibilities. I believe many couples would like to have a weekend together from time to time or make time for date nights, but think it would be irresponsible. It is irresponsible not to invest in the most important relationship you have outside your relationship with God. Culture or work may press against time together, but you need to fight back. I guarantee, if you pray and look for an opportunity to get away or to have date nights together, God will grant you that desire. Do you feel selfish arranging or date nights and time away with your spouse?